Affirming Identity whilst in a State of Abandonment: Introduction I

The following entry will be the introduction and the groundwork for another entry I am working on regarding identity and memory.  It was my first entry to our Colombian Adoptee Search and Support (CASAS) Group.  This entry can be found in the CASAS archives dated May 17, 2002 - two years before my trip to Colombia in April 2004.  

Fri May 17, 2002:

I wrote this out of fustration one day, and thought I’d share it with everyone. I like to write and originally it was to be part of my disasterpiece* because thats what being adopted feels like…. I am just beginning to look for my birthparents also.

According to some official papers, my sister and I were abandoned in Colombia, South America July 4, 1981. According to the same papers, a woman by the name of Mrs. Martha Rodriguez, on that day brought two minors to Fundacion Los Pisingos, a private home for children and orphans. The two minors were brother and sister, my sister and I. Mrs. Martha Rodriguez, according to the papers “attested” that she had been sent by Mrs. Beatriz Socoloff, a volunteer of this private home. After being questioned Mrs. Beatriz Socoloff denied this, she “said she had sent no one.” According to these papers, Mrs. Martha Rodriguez only gave her phone number and had left the children at the orphanage. Other sources have said that “a mysterious woman” promised to return but didn’t. Whether this promise was made or not cannot be known. After the children remained 2 or 3 days in the institution, Mrs. Martha Rodriguez was called at the number she had left. The number corresponded to a place called the Techo Hippodrome**. It could have been a cinema, an auditorium, or a theatre but this cannot be known either. Whoever answered said that they didn’t know her.

According to the papers, photographs of the children were published in a newspaper of national circulation, La Republica, on the 4th of September 1981. The results were negative. It was resolved in this document that my sister and I were in a “state of abandonment” and to proceed with the legal procedures to put us up for adoption.

From the time we were left at the orphanage to the time we left with the American couple that adopted us in December 1981 we had been in a “state of abandonment”. Unbeknownst to me at the time, the “state of abandonment” would become a familiar state of being as I grew up in the United States. I was to find that, personally and in contrast to the official documents, that I have always been in the “state of abandonment” and that this state never officially ended with being adopted. I took it with me to a new world and a new family.

According to certain individuals, the official papers became the official history of these two children. It was a beginning to a new life, a new experience, and new relationships to build upon. According to certain individuals. According to me, the official papers became the official excuse to deny my history and identity. It became a history to live up to, to get used to and to accept. The fact remains, I have never lived up to it, I never got used to it, and I never accepted it. Since I was little, I’ve had to carry memories and a past of Colombia before being adopted. My memory, I always thought, was the key back to Colombia, back to “me” as Colombian, back to my mother, land, history and past. I thought it was the key to rest and peace. My memories are not enough. As the years went by and I began to grow up, the “state of abandonment” has grown up with me in its full realization. The realization that if I am to be abandoned then the world deserves to be abandoned too by me.

The official documents were supposed to be the beginning of a new life for me. But in the long run, it has had the opposite effect. The official documents became the end of the world for me, as I knew it.

[Note: *The disasterpiece has been completely swept away by another literary project I am currently working on - a mythological history of another world]

[Note:**The Techo Hippodrome was the name of a track used for horse-racing and betting in a section of Bogota, known as JFK (named after John F. Kennedy).  It is now abandonned.]

Introduction to be continued…

One Fate, One Destiny

“…Show me a way I can live and I’ll grow,
There is a way that we can learn for ourselves…” - Sepultura

I am, by my curious nature, a bookworm. Although I am a Writer, there are three factors that contribute to my being a Writer: 1) My experience within objective reality 2) Music and 3) worming and scouring through various texts, papers and pamphlets. Whereas writing is my attempt at making coherent my world of confusion as I perceive it, perusing through literature is a state of refuge for me, especially when issues of adoption accentuate and intensify. When this becomes the condition, I find myself (and my experience) torn over and squaring off with objective reality. In such situations I have a tendency to detach myself from the world I am a part of and become increasingly attached to my comfortable notions of safety and security. The kind of fight that is required of me will be a fight to re-establish, re-attach, and re-affirm my rightful place in the world. That is, to understand my experience within the context of objective reality. As of now, I fear to be losing this fight. A growing armour threatens to cover me head to foot, choking my ability to communicate, express, and interact, and blocking my ability to move, learn and develop. Because I am choosing to express this means I am still in the fight. I am resilient and persistent and I must remain so.

Before I get into the final report on St. John’s University Conference on International, Transracial and Transcultural Adoption, a word or two about the adoption community in general. First to reckon with the facts: 1) There exists an adoption community and 2) there exists also a world in which all of us belong to, the real world as is, consisting of many communities, the adoption community included.

There exists among these two points a disconnect that whatever happens to one community bears no relation to what happens to another and as such bears no relation to the world at large. The very nature of adoption itself, as can be seen from the families who make up the adoption community, tells us otherwise. The very events and developments (whether social or economic) that lead to acts of relinquishment, placement/displacement and exchange of children (bordercrossings), and fostering and adopting itself tells us that different communities are not separate worlds unto themselves. In fact, the adoption community tells us that different communities in existence today is an integral part of the fabric of the world and society that gave rise to it, the adoption community is no exception. The idea that one community is separate from the other is, in my view, false. The fate and destiny of the adoption community is intricately linked and tied up with the fate and destiny of all communities and as such the world at large and vice versa.

The most important thing at this point is how the adoption community views itself in relation to these matters. In doing so the adoption community will most certainly have to square off with objective reality. There are indications that the adoption community is doing just that. With that I encourage the adoption community to keep pressing forward, even in the face of the most difficult questions and challenges that adoption has brought forth, to be persistent in finding out.

[Note: Posted to the Yahoo! Colombian Adoptee Search and Support Group under thread entitled "Our Fates and Destinies Intertwined"]

89th Anniversary of the Great October Socialist Revolution!

The socialist revolution in Russia that shook the world took place during the First World War. Anti-war sentiment was high in all countries within the imperialist system of states. The problem confronting the anti-war movement was that the political elite was adept at keeping the people out of the equation in stopping the war. Political initiative was in the hands of the ruling elite in all the combatant countries and the people were not a factor. A big role in keeping the people out of the equation was played by many so-called left-wing parties who lined up behind their own imperialists as social patriots and chauvinists. Instead of straightforward calling for an end to the slaughter, bringing the troops home and negotiating a democratic peace, the social patriots raised objections about the politics of the “other side.” Certain social-democrats in Germany accused the British Empire of wanting to rule the world and thus it was necessary to wage war to stop them. Certain British social-democrats accused the German government of being undemocratic and totalitarian and it was necessary to wage war to oppose German autocratic aggression and defend British values. The people were blocked from deciding their own fate and were sent to slaughter on behalf of their own imperialists in the muddy trenches of continental Europe and elsewhere.Only within the Russian Empire did resistance to the imperialist war make the people a factor in the equation. The determination of the anti-war movement in Russia led by the Communist Party (Bolshevik) to achieve its aim of peace and defend the well-being of the peoples of all the belligerent countries made the people the determining factor in taking Russia out of the imperialist war, bringing the troops home and negotiating a democratic peace with Germany.

When the Russian people overthrew the Tsar in February 1917, the hopes of the soldiers and their loved ones were raised to the sky that peace was possible. The new capitalist/landlord provisional government soon dashed that hope with its renewed commitment to the slaughter. The Russian people led by Lenin’s Communist Party did not despair but renewed their efforts for “Land, Peace and Bread” and convinced the doubters from amongst their midst that the path of active resistance and revolution was the only road to peace and social progress. By November of the same year the people were indeed ready in their consciousness and their determination to make themselves the decisive part of the equation. They rose in mighty rebellion for Land, Peace and Bread. The people became the key factor in deciding their fate.

Workers, peasants and supporters from the middle strata, responding to the November 6, 1917 call of the Communist Party and its allies, rose in massive rebellion throughout the Russian Empire holding high the slogans “All Power to the Soviets!” “Land, Peace and Bread!”

The capitalist/landlord authority in power had failed to uphold its duty and change the conditions according to the demands of the times and it paid the price with its revolutionary overthrow. By 2:00 am the following morning November 7 (October 25 in the Julian calendar) Red Guards of the Petrograd Soviet seized the Winter Palace, headquarters of the executive power of the capitalist/landlord Kerensky government of the Russian Empire. Later that day in Petrograd the revolutionary slogan — All Power to the Soviets! All Power to the Workers and Peasants’ Councils! — was formally brought into being at the Second All-Russian Congress of Soviets of Workers and Soldiers’ Deputies. The Congress passed a resolution negating the authority of the capitalist/landlord government, and establishing all political power in the Soviets. The Congress passed and issued its famous message “To Workers, Soldiers, and Peasants!” written by Lenin. (See For Your Information)

As the revolution spread rapidly throughout Russia, into Ukraine and other surrounding nations of the Russian Empire, and gripped the millions of conscripts on the front lines of World War I, the All-Russian Congress of Soviets upon declaring its revolutionary authority passed two momentous resolutions that were to concretize the demands of the Russian working people for new conditions, in particular for Land, Peace and Bread. (See For Your Information for extracts from the Decrees on Peace and Land)

The victory of the socialist revolution was not fortuitous. The Communist Party in Russia, known as the Bolsheviks and led by Lenin had prepared the subjective conditions for the working class and peasants to seize political power and consolidate and maintain their power. The most important subjective condition was the building of a Communist Party that never lost its bearings and refused to succumb to opportunist pressure. Lenin’s party fought tenaciously to defend the purity of Marxism, develop the theory and tactics of socialist revolution for the period, continually improve the level of the Party’s members and supporters and constantly move the consciousness of the working class towards socialist revolution. Every movement for reform, every struggle for a wage increase, benefit or social program and every protest became an occasion to unite the people in defence of the rights of all, to recognize and celebrate the power of the working class when united and independent of the capitalist class, and to grasp the necessity of building a Communist Party in every workplace and neighbourhood with the ultimate objective to transfer political power to representatives of the working people.

Of the major European communist parties, the Bolshevik Party was the only one to oppose the war hysteria leading to the First World War and to organize actively for an anti-war government. All its activities were directed at mobilizing the working class and peasantry to defend themselves according to plans worked out in organizations built and defended by the masses, especially the Soviets. (See For Your Information)

Lenin’s Party learned from history and used its theoretical rendering as a guide to action. The seizure of power by the working people during the 1871 Paris Commune, its eventual defeat and Karl Marx’s theoretical guide “Civil War in France” became an integral part of Leninism in the conditions of imperialism. The successes and defeat of the 1905 Russian revolution became a Leninist “dress rehearsal” for the victorious revolution that was sure to come.

When the masses overthrew the tsar in February 1917 demanding “peace, land and freedom,” the capitalists and landlords snatched political power from the people and established a provisional government. But the workers and peasants organized into the Communist Party and Soviets never for an instant stopped demanding that the government use its authority to change the conditions and bring about peace, land to the tillers and freedom for the working class and peasants to have an organized voice in governing the country.

Did the capitalist/landlord government create the necessary conditions for peace? Did it bring the Russian masses relief from the senseless slaughter in the trenches? No, on April 18, 1917 the Provisional Government sent the Allied governments confirmation that Russia was prepared to continue the fight in World War I to a “victorious end.” Immediately, the Soviets throughout the empire organized massive demonstrations of workers, soldiers and peasants against the continuation of the war, reaching enormous proportions April 20 and 21. The conscripts began to turn decisively towards the only consistent opponents to the imperialist war, the Communist Party and its peasant ally the Left Social-Democrats.

Did the Kerensky provisional government give the peasants land? No, the big capitalists formed an alliance with the landed nobility and blocked the transfer of the land to the tillers. The peasants began to turn massively away from the capitalists and to see the working class as their natural ally.

Did the capitalist government develop political reforms to concretely change the conditions and bring representatives of the working masses into power through the existing Soviets? No, it consolidated power in the Duma (parliament) under the dictate of the political parties of the capitalists and landlords. The provisional government did everything to sideline the Soviets and block the participation of the working class and peasantry in government. Under the hoax of aiding the war effort the provisional government stemmed any relief in the form of higher wages and social programs for the people. The working class began to turn decisively towards the Communist Party, especially in Petrograd, Moscow and other industrial centres.

In mid-September 1917 during the elections for representatives to the Second All-Russian Congress of Soviets, the Communist Party won a majority. Lenin reported to the Central Committee of the Communist Party that the date of the uprising was fast approaching. Of the 650 elected members of the Workers and Soldiers’ Deputies who were to meet in Petrograd November 7, 390 were members of the Communist Party (Bolshevik) led by Vladimir Lenin and almost one hundred were from its peasant ally organized as the Left Socialist-Revolutionaries.

By September 1917, the slaughter in the war had become intolerable, famine was stalking the land and the masses began to raise the banner “All Power to the Soviets! Land, Peace and Bread!” The Bolsheviks are right the people declared. The capitalists cannot be trusted to keep their word. The working class and peasants must form a Soviet government through revolution.

Everything was in place for the workers and peasants to seize political power November 7. It was not fortuitous; it was tenacious, meticulous preparation of the subjective conditions for revolution by the Communist Party.

The victory of the Great October Socialist Revolution was a victory for the peoples of the world. It immensely weakened the imperialist system of states by removing a major population and landmass from monopoly competition for markets, raw materials and masses to exploit through voluntary servitude. Within a few short years, Communist Parties had been formed in almost every country of the world including Canada. The battle was on to move the world forward under the conscious political leadership of the working class and its Communist Party. The human factor/social consciousness was becoming decisive in world affairs. A way forward for the people had been shown in practice. Now it was time for peoples everywhere to develop the theory and tactics of the revolutionary movement according to the prevailing conditions using Marxism-Leninism as their sure guide to victory.

SOURCE: Communist Party of Canada (Marxist-Leninist)

A Reflection On What We’re Fighting For

WHILE drifting silently in the canoe with my comrade and friend, I saw a reflection on the water of the sun, clouds and blue sky. For a moment, in that peaceful stillness and quiet, I found myself thinking of our planet earth moving with incredible speed through the vacuum and vastness of space around the sun, seemingly lonely in its orbit, always in constant rotating motion. In my mind, I saw the earth swinging around the sun like a giant clock working upon enormous invisible gears. I felt incredibly small as I was a mote matter of consciousness and being. And just as I was about to become lost in my imagination to the limits of mind and universe, my thoughts and concentration were broken by sudden movements in the water. And I looked and my gaze pierced through the transparency of my reflection. Beneath the surface of water, schools of fish were darting about and I could see plantgrowth life that was flourishing there and for some reason in that quiet solitude among the songs of crickets and movements of fish I could not help but think of those who were collectively fighting and putting up a just struggle for a peace to call their own.

At one of our camp meetings someone said that the world is in turmoil therefore for us youth, we are in turmoil. The struggle for this peace has been waged historically and heroically. I thought of the great sacrifice of the oppressed nations and people of the world who struggled against the forces that sought and brought turmoil into the world. Today the world is a different place than it was when the Soviet Union and People victoriously defeated the armies of fascism and aggression. Today we have the resistance in Lebanon, in Iraq, in Afghanistan and in Palestine against imperialism and dark brutal reaction.

In the canoe with my friend and comrade, the responsibility to face this turmoil, to block the world from falling apart and to secure a bright future and a peace to call our own never felt heavier. The task felt monolithic before my brain - but I wasn’t alone in the world. This task isn’t mine alone, like everyone in this world I am a part of it and I have a part in it.

[Note: This piece was writtened in August 2006 during the period when U.S.-backed Israeli imperialism and aggression was on the offensive against the heroic Lebanese people. Israel's aim was to crush and wipe out the resistance in Lebanon, namely Hezbollah, and as such, failed to complete its brutal military and political objective. This was a profound defeat for the aggressors and a sound victory for the Lebanese resistance and freedom fighters! Long live the Lebanese Resistance to U.S.-Israeli imperialism!]